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Funny Insurance Quotes

40+ Amazing Funny Insurance Quotes To Make Use Of

Funny Insurance Quotes are sure to make you laugh. In today’s world having Insurance should be a necessity for everyone. An insurance policy covers the portion of casualty that one has endured due to some mishap, in financial terms. We will be sharing with you all some important Funny Insurance Quotes to use.

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Funny Insurance Quotes
Funny Insurance Quotes

It gives you the support you need to get back on your feet. Insurance is necessary to secure your and your family’s health. Talking about health let’s look at some insurance jokes that will make you crack your ribs with laughter.

What came about when a man put a “please kidnap me” bumper sticker on his car with the intention that he would get insurance? Somebody kidnapped his bumper sticker and left his car!

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Amazing Funny Insurance Quotes

We will be looking at some amazing Funny Insurance Quotes you can simply make use of any time anywhere and any day. In as much as you desire, you will have a fun-filled day.

  • What is the only item insurance agents can not sell, even to a ghoul? Life Insurance.
  • What sort of insurance would transformers prefer? Life and car insurance.
  • If America’s founding fathers were life insurance agents, where would they sign significant papers? The page of declaration.
  • How many more actuaries would be used to alter one light bulb? Relies on how many it used last year.
  • What characteristics do insurance and parachute share? If it can not be used the first time you need it, it is useless
  • What do sheet metal ducts care most about when it has to do with insurance? The deductible.
  • Do insurance agents love chocolates? Yes, they do, the premium chocolates.
  • Have you heard a wife’s response when a husband mentions life insurance? What would that be in-tail?
  • What did the life insurance salesman confess to the man after explaining their policy? Call me, when you wake.
  • What is the first thing that the food vehicle lessor did when he was given insurance? He sought out a nom-nom-inee.
  • Why did the life insurance dealer take one of his customers to the horse race track? Because he needed to show the customer that betting with the numbers does not pay off.
  • Why was the policy so delighted on his 20th work anniversary? He eventually received tenure.
  • What transpired when an insurance salesman and her husband were driving to a friend’s house and unexpectedly the brakes ceased to function? The insurance agent told the husband, “Brace yourself and try to maybe smash something less expensive”.
  • What insurance company would a person go to if they are involved in a car accident in Machu Picchu? It’s Peru-dential.
  • What did the turtle tell the insurance salesman? It said, “No, I will not buy life insurance because I am already covered.”
  • What would a doctor say to chocolate after taking a look at his insurance policies? He said, your insurance only covers snickers and Laffy taffy but laughter is the best medicine.
  • Do you know what the insurance salesperson would have told Adam and Eve? Looks like you want some coverage.
  • What policy for retirement did the young man have? His insurance salesman can retire happily only if he will pay his premium faithfully.
  • Can you tell what the insurance man said to Adam and Eve? This looks like you will be needing some coverage.
  • Why did the passenger get uneasy when she read the fame cookie that she purchased at the airport? Because the fame cookie read, “Today’s investment is going to compensate big individuals.
  • What was the man’s response when he was asked by the insurance salesman, “Sir, you affirmed to be born in the USA? Which part?” His response was, “why, my whole body, my man”.
  • The florist’s insurance only covers the wife’s insurance.
  • Why was the man worried about the safety of his online insurance account? Because he would truly hate it if somebody attempts to pay his insurance!
  • What insurance company is dispersed across the whole country? Allstate.
  • What is an excellent name for a life insurance salesman? Justin Case.
  • What did the insurance salesman utter when a man asked if he would receive any insurance if a volcano close to his house exploded? The agent convinced him that he would be covered.
  • Why did the insurance companies think that insurance fees on drivers that have never wrecked their cars should be increased? Because they are driving carelessly.
  • Why did the agent choose to sell life insurance to explosive factories? Because he was certain it was going to be a flourishing enterprise.
  • What name do you think would be perfect for insurance companies that care for flower businesses? Oopsie Daisies.
  • Yesterday a life insurance salesman was sitting beside me at a Death Metal concert. Yes, and through it all, he offered me to cover and protection.
  • What type of health insurance do Halloween monsters deserve? They deserve medicare.
  • Have you heard that all my friends went for State Farm Insurance? I chose to go with Flo.
  • My request for tornado insurance on my campsite earned constant rejection. The authorities told me that if the tent gets blown off then the campsite would not be covered.
  • My father was struggling to locate a good dental insurance policy. But he could not be so tired he said, ” It is impossible, it is like pulling teeth”.
  • A tourist got full payment for injuries during his trip! Well, these Tourists have everything covered.
  • My brother is a life insurance salesman. When sending a life insurance policy to his clients, he usually ends his emails with ” your agent for life, Jack”.
  • I was surprised that I was offered a trip to Switzerland By my insurance company on completing my tenth anniversary.
  • My sister said that she was hesitant about vision insurance. I told her to look into it!
  • The fisherman was furious when his fishing boat capsized and the fish swam off. To make things worse, the insurance agency declined payment alleging t was carelessness.


The importance of an insurance policy in our current world, as we said at the beginning can not be ruled out. If you are still contemplating making a decision please don’t waste more time because an insurance policy comes in handy. I hope you found this post interesting, do well to share this post with family and friends via any of the social media platforms.




Joshua Lincoln

Hello guys, I'm Joshua Lincoln. I happen to be the founder and Editor in Chief of You can get in touch with me via my social Media Platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

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